Today, I'm 24 weeks pregnant. It's been such a struggle, and a long 24 weeks. My sweet Ethan has endured more trials in his little womb than I ever would have dreamed. He and I have been a total package these past 24 weeks. In my heart struggles, they had to save me to save him. My poor little boy stood no chance if they weren't able to get my own health under control.
Today, that changes. Today, my little strong man stands a chance. Lord forbid something else occur, but I take extreme comfort in knowing that it doesn't have to be the total package anymore. We have finally reached the point in pregnancy that if something else horrible happens, Ethan could be born and continue to fight like hell no matter what my circumstances are.
I realize that an infant born at 24 weeks gestation result in extreme risks, health concerns, problems and trials. I certainly want Ethan to remain in his "incubator" for as long as he can. I'm not making any statements that I want Ethan to be born yet. What I am saying is that today, he stands a chance. When we thought that we were going through a regular pregnancy, I'm not sure that the 24 week milestone would have meant as much to me. However, we didn't get the choice of a regular pregnancy. So today, I'm having a small silent celebration with my growing baby boy. We've reached his age of viability. He finally has the chance he deserves to grow and thrive without me.
And that feels pretty darn relieving.