Thursday, March 24, 2011


“No one will question your integrity if your integrity is not questionable.”

I've been questioning integrity a lot lately.  With recent situations in my daily life, integrity has seemed to be at the top of the list.  I struggle with my relationships with others when they don't act with integrity.  I struggle even more when people do not accept ownership for their lack of integrity.  As my Dad posted on Facebook the other night "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."  

Why do we choose to act without integrity sometimes?  Why don't we remember that our actions always impact someone else, and think about that impact that it may hurt someone?  Why can't we accept the accountability that we have hurt someone by our actions, intentional or unintentional?  Why do we always have an excuse?

The lack of integrity from others has impacted my family and myself in multiple ways over the past six months, and I am beginning to feel anger about it rather than hurt.  I don't understand manipulation, I don't understand sneakiness, and I don't understand dishonesty.  I've learned that these actions should not fly under the radar, and I've also learned that bringing them to the surface creates a "deer in headlights" reaction.  

Why in the heck am I talking about all this? And why in the heck am I being so vague about it? Unfortunately, there are times that things I want to share are simply unable to be shared in this manner, but weigh so heavily on my heart that I can't ignore that they exist.  My struggle with two specific individuals with two different circumstances have resulted in multiple conversations of morals, integrity and accountability lately.  People who specifically harassed and discriminated against me during my horrible health struggle.  People who intentionally walked over my family to manipulate an outcome that was not their outcome to manipulate.

I find it extremely difficult to process individuals that are capable of lying straight to your face and acting in a completely different way.  I find it hard to understand the motive of these individuals to be so filled with greed and self-gratification.  I find it even more difficult to understand that people act this way, and appear so surprised when they are questioned by their actions.  

Integrity and accountability.  We all falter sometimes, and we all make wrong choices.  It's accepting accountability when we fail with integrity that divides the line from a mistake to a true lack of integrity.  Those of us who choose to learn from our mistakes and missteps make it difficult for others to question your integrity.  Is your integrity questionable?


Erika and Jason said...

Hang in there. I hope things get better for you. I question others integrity often...and sometimes my own. Self reflection is a wonderful skill to have. Hope certain people in your life start treating you better.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the things that will make you a great mom. It's hard to teach integrity. But I think your child will learn it by watching YOU.

I've actually had issues in the past with "blogging with integrity". I've noticed bloggers writing things, then changing them, deleting and closing down comments to save face, and just generally doing things that I don't think fall under "writing with integrity". To me, it ruins your credibility and I can no longer trust those people. I try very hard to act with integrity (act, write, etc.) but I know I don't always succeed.