Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Father...

A few weeks ago, Jason sent me an e-mail of thoughts he has been having lately about becoming a father.  I know most of my followers are women, but he wanted me to share with you his perspective of his new upcoming role:

As the time quickly approaches until our son Ethan is born it has made me think a lot about the type of Dad I will be.  I’ve been scared, nervous, and just anxious to meet our new son.  There are so many questions, and I do all I can to figure up in my head how to care for and love this sweet child that’s about to be born and do it well.  I’ve talked a lot with Paige about how I will be and what I want to be to our son.  I want our son to see me as a strong and forever loving father, I want him to look up to me and be proud of me and just love and respect me forever no matter what. 
Growing up my parents divorced when I was 3 and I didn’t know my dad very well.   My mother raised me but I remember knowing what wasn’t the type of man I ever wanted to be.  My mom remarried, 3rd time was a charm for her.  My stepfather has been the closest to a father figure I’ve ever had.  I taught myself how to do a lot of things with guidance from my mom and step dad but things like shaving I remember doing on my own.  That is one thing I always think of a father teaching his son among other things.   
My real dad always made false promises as I grew up.  I never had a close relationship but I did want him there but to see that he didn’t want me there still hurts.  We haven’t talked in 4yrs now, and I haven’t seen him since I was about 8yrs old. I turn 28 this year.   
With all that being said, now it’s my turn to become a father.  I don’t want my relationship with my son to be anything like I had.  I want to be his rock, his strength and give him someone who he can rely on through his whole life.  I was lucky in having a wonderful mother to pick up where I needed, but I want to make sure I’m there for everything.  I’ve been painting Ethan’s room and furniture and out of all the art I have ever created I am most proud of his room and everything I have done.  I put everything I had into it and that’s how I want to do everything for him as his dad! 
I no long worry about what type of dad I will be because my wife has made sure I knew that its not genetic to be like my birth father.  I grew to the man I am on my own and I can be the father that I want to be.  So I will show my son what a loving father can be!   
Can’t wait for the first time to hear him say Dad! 


lessonsinlifeandlight said...

This is so sweet! Love the letter.

Amy Lynn said...

Jason is ALREADY a fantastic Daddy :)

Brittany Ann said...

Beautiful. I'm gonna share this with P, since he's in such a similar situation.

Lisa said...

You are going to be a great Dad honey! You have a huge heart full of love for that little boy and I bet he already feels it :)