Monday, September 28, 2009
Not Me! Monday
We went to the self-checkout, and I certainly still did not still look like a thief while talking to my purse saying things like "Stay down in there!" "Just a few more minutes sweetie." "You can't be showing yourself in here!" Nope! Not me! (Note: No one ever said a word to us about our adorable Furbaby hiding in my bag.)
On Saturday morning, Jason headed off to his Saturday morning job that he loves. I normally spend Saturday mornings cleaning house while he is away and so I can contribute to the workload on the weekends, since he is great enough to keep that Saturday job. However, on this Saturday morning, I did not lay around until 10:30 with the pure joy of taking up the whole bed for once. Of course I wouldn't take a lazy Saturday morning while my hubby worked!
Once I finally rolled out of bed, I did not go straight to the shower, turn on the water, and head to the linen closet to get a towel. I did not turn around to see a HUGE centipede hanging out on my closet door! I am a grown woman, and not terrified of bugs. I did not call my husband after a frantic Raid search. We were out. I did not ask him to please come home for just a minute to dispose of this multi-legged creature that was too close to my shower door for me to enter. The shower water was not running the entire time. That would be very wasteful of me! Jason definitely did not tell me that WD-40 would work just like Raid and to just try that. I did not take his word for it and spray a massive amount of WD-40 on this bug. Um, thanks for the try honey, but maybe you misunderstood me. I want this bug dead, not slippery. WD-40 does NOT (a for real NOT this time) kill bugs. I did not call my sister immediately after, in hopes that her home a block and a half away had Raid! *Side note: I do not take shoes to kill bugs. That would require me to get entirely too close to these awful things.*
My sister was sadly not at home, but suggested to suck it up with the vacuum hose. I did not plug in the vacuum, attempt to suck up that evil bug. I decided that the vacuum hose also put me way too close to that sucker, and gave that up. Shower was not still running. My sister tells me to get a broom. I put the phone down. I do not scream bloody murder when the broom sent the centipede flying off the door and began to crawl towards me! Whack! Whack! After three tries, that evil centipede is finally dead. I picked up the phone again and my sister was certainly not laughing at me and telling me that her husband could hear me scream with the phone on my counter, and him standing 4 feet away from her. I definitely did not then cover that monster bug with a towel and leave it there until Jason came home to pick it up and flush him. Sigh. What a dramatic morning.