I'm just going to flat out admit it. I don't like wedding planning. I think I'm the only bride in the world that really just doesn't like it. I know roughly what I want, but if you want me to take a fine comb over every detail, it's probably not going to happen. And as a bride, all of your vendors and people involved want you to do that. Not fun. Like for example-let's talk about flowers. I told the florist "I know I want white flowers, and I'm thinking along the lines of the hydrangea bloom, but if they are going to be outrageously expensive, another bloom similar will be fine." Well the hydrangea ended up being decently prices, and I thought that was that. Oh no. "Do you want an accent flower? Do you want greenery? How many blooms per bouquet? What about boutonnieres?" The list went on and on. My answer? "I don't care, whatever you think looks best." That answer doesn't really fly. OH how I wish it did. I wish I could just give the basic ideas in my head to someone, and let them run with it.
I really wanted to do a "get married on the beach" kind of wedding, but I feel like down the road I would have really missed my extended family being there. And Jason really wanted a wedding with all of his family there as well. However, the original guest list surpassed 300 people. Uh, no thanks. First of all, my wonderful parents are willing to pay for this wedding, and hosting something for 300 was out of the question. Second, this is a WEDDING, not a movie premiere. Nothing against anyone that had or will have a huge guest list, it's just not for me. I feel that our personal touch would be lost with that many people. The ability to have a small conversation and thank each guest for taking time out of their day to celebrate with us is extremely important to me. I don't see how that's possible for a list of 300 without skipping something big, like eating or breathing. Anyone that CAN do that, that's wonderful. It's just not for me at all. So we decided to meet in the middle.
We found a location that only held a certain number of people so that we could keep the guest list to immediate family, and the friends that are closest to Jason and I that have been around for years. It is also a location that is doing quite a bit of the "fine comb" details without consulting me, which I love. I don't care what the forks look like, I don't care exactly how the chairs are placed. This place does and provides quite a bit of this for us, so we were both happy.
My attitude really sucks about this whole wedding situation right now. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my hubby-to-be and I can't wait to marry him. But this whole wedding deal? Not so much. My parents are doing SO much to make this day as special and wonderful as it can possibly be, but I hate that right now all their extra time and energy is going towards this wedding. I know they have lots of things they want to do for themselves, and they are giving it up right now to help Jason and I plan this wedding. They've really gone above and beyond to make everything perfect. A few nights ago, they surprised us with a driver to take us to the airport and pick us up from the airport so that we won't have to worry about driving while we are still tired and save money on long term parking. I'm extremely grateful and appreciative of everything they've done, but part of me feels guilty about it too.
What troopers they have been-they haven't complained once about anything. I know they are stressed with it, and I know it's hard for them because I am the youngest:but they never once complain about any of it because it is what they have offered to do and WANT to do. That in itself really makes me feel better because nothing makes me feel worse than someone OFFERING and saying they want to do something for you, and then tell you the whole time how inconvenienced they are or how big of a burden it is. I've experienced that a lot over the past year, and I really hate it. I genuinely and sincerely appreciate everyone and everything that has contributed to this wedding, but it is frustrating when the offer gets laid out on the table only to later have to feel guilty about taking the offer.
But then, just when I get really down and out about it, someone does something extremely sweet for us and overwhelms us with the thought. One of my dearest friends from high school/dance class, Cecily, sent us the sweetest gift. She was married a few years ago, and said she was going to create an "advice book" for us. It has been a running joke, and I never expected to actually see it. I got it in the mail last week. It's beautiful. It has the sweetest letter, the funniest pieces of advice, and some of the best pieces of advice I've been given to date. She worked so hard on it, and even left several pages empty for us to use throughout the rest of our wedding festivities. We are going to use it at my shower this weekend for marriage tips from all of the guests, and I think we are even going to use it as our guestbook at the ceremony. It's a beautiful, thoughtful gift, and there is nothing more that I would love to do that fulfill her thoughts with the book. We had created a guestbook of engagement photos last year, and planned on using it as our guestbook-but I'm throwing it out the window. This one has so much more meaning to it. She and I always had an interesting relationship. We laughed-A LOT. And since we came from different high schools and had different sets of friends, we were able to vent to each other with full trust that it wouldn't fire back on us later. She is truly one of the best people I have ever encountered. She was always dancing to the beat of her own drum and everyone loved her for it. Cecily, if you come across this, THANK you so much. Our silly joke turned into one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received.
And then lo and behold, my college best friend shows up at my house last night to do the same thing. She has to be out of town this weekend for a volleyball match and has to miss the shower. I'm pretty sad about it, but her life is CRAZY busy during the semester so I understand. But I know she will be over as soon as she is back in town to look at all the pictures and take in everything she can. She shows up and presents us with a gorgeous wine rack for our kitchen. Here's a picture of it: isn't it pretty? It was so sweet of her to bring this to us just to let us know she was thinking of us this weekend and wished she could be there. It was more of the gesture to let us know (even though we already did) that she would be there if she could, that really made me smile. Thanks Meg, we LOVE IT and we love you.
Well, I think this wraps up my "bad attitude" post for the week, and I promise that the rest of my posts this week will have an upbeat attitude! Have a great day everyone!