Jason and I were married three years ago today. It's always fun to look back on our wedding day. We smile about how excited we felt, we talk about how ridiculous our wedding party acted, we laugh about the things that didn't go perfectly, and remember the chaos of a day that has been captured with some beautiful photos. We always remember that the day was completely successful because our goal was acheived: we became a family. The beauty in that simple fact easily overshadowed all the stress and turmoil that led up to that afternoon.
As a gift this year, Jason presented me with a beautiful green amethyst ring. Green has always been a significant color to our relationship, so this is an incredibly sweet reminder of our time together before we were married.
Jason has always been one to look for signals and signs to show him that particular paths are right for him. It has always stood out to him to see a certain shade of green (usually in light coming from a firefly) during those struggles that gave him comfort knowing he was making the right choices. When we began dating, he told me this story, and how he felt that was God's way of showing him it was time to make big moves in his life. He said it was always strange that he would find a firefly glowing during these particular times, even if it was during a season when you didn't find many of them.
When he and I met, he told me months later that he noticed that shade of green showing up everywhere in his daily activities, usually right after we spent time together. He told me he has always felt that was God's way of showing him that he and I were supposed to be married. I told him he was silly, and that seeing an abundance of fireflies in the middle of June was no rare occurance.
That fall, we split up for a few months. After I came to my senses, he told me that he never worried that our relationship was over during our break-up. I found it completely arrogant of him, but he told me that he found a firefly at least once a week during the months of October and November. He told me he knew it was God's way of continuing to tell him that we were supposed to be together, but to be patient, because I needed to figure that out for myself as well. It was an incredibly sweet story, especially since it had so much meaning to him during those months. Jason has tried to subtley continue to use the color in small gifts to me throughout the years as a reminder that we will always be together, and this year it was this beautiful gemstone.
Happy Anniversary, my love! You are still the brightest firefly in my jar.
You are ELEVEN months old today. I cannot believe you are as big as this. I still feel like you are my brand new baby, my sweet tiny newborn. You are still such a sweet cuddle buddy that I can't fathom that we are going to be celebrating your BIRTHDAY in only a month. How is it that you have so quickly turned from my baby into my little boy?
You weigh about 21.5 pounds and are in size 3 diapers. You are still my champion eater and still so tiny. You are in size 3 diapers, 12 month clothing, and are getting taller by the day. You LOVE trying new things, exploring and investigating, and discovering how things work.
One of your most recent discoveries is the steering wheel. While the car was completely OFF, we decided to let you take a stab at how it felt behind the wheel. We also let you take a spin in a kid-size car, and I can't help but feel my heart overflow and realize how quickly it will be that we will be teaching you to drive for real.
One of my favorite sights is to watch you sleep. You are so sweet, so peaceful, no matter where you fall asleep.
One of my favorite features about you is your hair! I love how much it curls!
You are starting to enjoy your juice in your sippy cup more and more. I never thought you would transition to a cup, but the trick was just finding you one with a straw. You LOVE Cran-Grape juice.
It's already a really hot summer, and Granny has been putting you in her kiddie pool a lot. It's always a sure-fire way to keep you happy.
You are getting extremely close to walking, but you aren't quite brave enough to try it without anything nearby for you to slightly touch. Sometimes you walk around a room, slightly skimming the wall for support, but you won't put that hand down. It's coming soon, and I'm afraid you will take off running with your first steps.
You are getting better about riding in the cart, but sometimes we have to put "friends" in there for you so that you don't get lonely.
You have so many facial expressions, and they make us laugh all the time. Of course, our favorite expression of yours is your smile. We went on an outdoor adventure a few days ago, and you LOVED getting covered in dirt, mud, and grass. It was so cute to see my little boy covered in grass stains, because I know one of these days I will be cursing those grass stains on your brand new outfit.
I still think you may be part dog. ;)
You are such a fun addition to our family. I love that you are talking so much now. Your vocabulary is quickly growing, and you say: Mama, Dada, Dog, Uh-oh, and "Ha" (for Granny's dog Hoss). Fenway is still your best friend, although he is starting to frustrate you a little that he doesn't like being pulled up on. You are growing way too fast for me. I need you to stay my baby for a little while longer. I love watching you grow, and I know I will always see you as my baby boy, but can you please just STAY my baby for a little longer?
Tonight, my husband rocked our sweet boy to sleep, as he almost always does. It's their time together, it's one of the few times that Ethan prefers his Daddy over his Mommy.
As Ethan started to doze and drift off to his *hopeful* full night of sleep, I walked past my boys and saw Ethan was curled up on Jason's chest, making the recliner ooze with sweetness. I knelt down in front of the recliner, laid my head next to Ethan's and wrapped the both of them up in a hug.
While almost sound asleep, Ethan found my fingers within seconds, grabbed on and squeezed tightly. He held on as he started to snore and let us know that he was in deep enough of a sleep to be laid down for the evening.
It was those few moments that made this Mother's Day truly special. His adorable handprint on a flower that his Granny helped him make, and the sweet pictures he posed for to say "I love you Mommy" are wonderful little keepsakes that I'll treasure forever, but those moments that he lets me know that he loves me even in his sleep are the most special gifts his little heart could ever give. Those little moments are the ones that make me remember how thankful I am that I get to be his Mommy and that fact alone is what made it a beautiful Mother's Day.
It was only a few days before she passed away that Bonnie gave me one last huge belly laugh. A group of us had decided to be totally nerdy and play along with the Cranium daily calendar via e-mail. Somehow I ended up being the moderator this year, so I sent out the trivia question, regarding the size of major landmarks. I remember that the options included the Washington Monument, The Space Needle, The Empire State Building, and the Cincinnati Arch. While I can't remember the question exactly (it was regarding the weight of the landmarks), I do remember that the answer was the Washington Monument.
Bonnie answered incorrectly that day, and I responded her her e-mail by telling her the correct answer. The silly woman e-mailed back with, "I should have known that the Washington Monument was the answer-all of those heads on one rock have to weigh a ton!" I had to re-read her response about three times before I realized that Bonnie had confused the Washington Monument with Mount Rushmore.
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When I wrote a previous post remembering Bonnie, I told you that she was as country as they come. I wasn't kidding. When we still worked together, I would leave my office from time to time to stretch my legs and rest my brain. I walked into her office and she said, "Whatcha need honey?" I responded to her with: "Oh nothing, just wandering." She looked at me, waiting for me to go on. When I didn't, she finally said, "About what?" Again, it took me several minutes before I realized that I had to explain to her that "wandering" and "wondering" meant two different things to most people.
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Bonnie was definitely a go big or go home type woman. When she reunited with her true love from the past (and remarried him) she spent every hour of her time outside of work with him. She spent so much time with him that she was getting no sleep at all, except the sleep she was getting at her desk. Her first offense resulted in a prank of setting an alarm off right by her head, only to watch her jump up a mile and fall out of her chair.
Her second offense was a little less startling, when our boss sat outside her office window and stared at her until she finally woke up. She woke up, rubbed her eyes, noticed she had an audience, and immediately began to giggle. There was no apology, no reprimand from our boss, no need for an explanation. She just laughed at herself, shrugged her shoulders, and went on about her day. Bonnie was never afraid to just accept the silly things she did and laugh at herself for them. That quality made it so much fun to join in laughing at her. She loved it when we laughed at her. It was refreshing to be around someone who never took herself too seriously.
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No doubt the woman loved her country music, as do most of us in Kentucky (shocker, huh?). One song that she LOVED that I absolutely hated was Kid Rock's "All Summer Long." Our Kentucky radio stations played the song what seemed like every hour on the hour. Bonnie loved it so much that she would turn it on full blast every time, and even created a ringtone on her phone to play her favorite part of "tryin' different things, we were smokin' funny things..." and sing as loud as she could. It drove me insane. Not only did I hate that song, but my favorite co-worker blasted it out of her office nonstop for months.
That stupid song came on the radio in my car for the first time since she died last week. Now not only is it completely impossible for me to change the station, but I felt like I had to listen to it as loud as it would go, hoping maybe she was rocking out in heaven on her air guitar, talking about smokin' funny things.
Today would be Bonnie's birthday, meaning her boss would buy her lunch, and she would probably pick Mexican food like she always did. We asked her if she always picked her favorite Mexican restaurant on her birthday as an early "Cinco de Mayo" celebration, and she would always say "Well sure! When is Cinco de Mayo anyway?"
I cannot believe that we are only two months away from your first birthday! You are growing so quickly, but you are turning into one of the most entertaining little boys ever. You weigh 19.8 pounds and are in 9 and 12 month clothing. We are on our last set of size 2 diapers and you will be switching to size 3 as soon as those are finished up. I can't believe how quickly you are growing.
We've been up to a lot during this month! You had your first official "illness." It was extremely difficult to watch you feel so poorly and not be able to do much to help you get comfortable. You are such a champ, and took your medicine without hardly any fight.
However, we need to discuss this situation with everything going into your mouth. We've already had an incident with dog poop, and over the last month you have forced me to pull the car over quickly to fish something out of your mouth. The first time I had to pull over I found a ball of string that came from who knows where, and the second time you ripped off your band-aid after an iron level test at the pediatrician. Watching you choke and gag on foreign object always scares me, but the car rides are definitely not the place to taste inedible objects. It's got to stop. Or you will be grounded.
We got to celebrate your first Easter this month! It's a tradition in our family that everyone gets a new pair of flip-flops for Easter, and you were certainly excited about yours. In fact, it was the only thing in your basket you showed any interest in.
You looked so adorable in your seersucker suit for Easter.
As a really special treat, we gave you a Cheese Puff on Easter since you can't have candy yet. You LOVED it, but you made quite a mess.
You somewhat enjoyed hunting for Easter eggs, but finding one was enough to satisfy your excitement.
Daddy took off a couple of days to spend with you this month too, and you LOVED spending some one on one time with him. He took you to see Big Red at the mall, and you love him! We were so glad to see you weren't afraid of him.
You also discovered that you have one cabinet in the kitchen that Mommy will let you totally destroy. The storage container cabinet will hold your interest for nearly half an hour some days. You love pulling everything out, climbing inside and crawling around with your new finds.
We have been having some beautiful weather, and we spent one Sunday afternoon as a family outdoors. You spent most of the afternoon on a blanket with me playing with some toys, but decided to venture away and help Daddy plant a few flowers.
I'm not really sure why, but apparently you have already decided that you want to be a part of social crazes and start planking.
You are so animated, and I love that you have so many facial expressions. One of your new favorites is the fish face. You giggle and clap for yourself after you make it.
We have finally found a cup that you enjoy, and you've taken a new liking to using them on your own. You look so big holding your own cup!
You LOVE books, love to be read to, love to look at the pictures, and love to turn the pages. I love to watch your inquisitive mind start exploring through books.
You LOVE music. It is so fun to watch you dance around. We even caught you "conducting" once!
You are a clapping machine, and Daddy is already training you to be a sports fan. You quickly picked up "Touchdown!!"
One of your FAVORITE playtime activities is total destruction, especially with blocks. We build towers, and you have a blast leveling them.
Granny has been working on songs with you, and "If You're Happy and You Know It" is currently your favorite.
You are already realizing that physical fitness is important, and have started to workout. Since you can't lift weights yet, your toy chest will have to do for now.
You have the sweetest laugh, and you immediately chime in with a giggle when everyone else laughs. It's one of my favorite things you do.
You aren't standing independently yet, but you are definitely pulling up and using things to walk along with. It's a good thing you have made such good friends with Fenway, because somehow he lets you use him as a push along toy.
You are so active and independent, but it is a rare moment that you will reject an opportunity to be loved on. You still love to be held, you love to give hugs, and you love to lay your head on my shoulder. You are such a snuggle buddy, and I love watching you love on your stuffed animals too. I'm so glad to see that even though you are rough and tumble, you still have a soft heart. You capture the hearts of total strangers with your sweet smile and friendly face. I couldn't be more proud of you.
Hey all! We've had such a crazy couple of weeks, I've had minimal time to update you all!
Ethan came down with an ear infection right around his 9 month birthday. He was set for his well-baby appointment, so we addressed the issue when we went in. I walked out with an antibiotic and ear-drops for pinkeye! I'm still not sold that he had pinkeye, because we were not cautious at all about making sure we didn't catch it, and no one else did. It was a chaotic (and quite pitiful) few days while he felt so poorly.
No sooner had Ethan gotten over his ear infection did I come down with some type of major "yuck." After multiple days and multiple protests, I finally headed to the doctor for an antibiotic. I'm prone to strep throat and mono, so I routinely retreated to the lab for a strep test and blood work.
My strep test (shockingly) came back negative and I was diagnosed with a simple throat infection, given an antibiotic and sent on my way. I was told that my blood results would take a day or so.
On my way to work the next morning, my doctor called me. He quickly told me that my thyroid levels were extremely low, and I needed to have a scan done to solidify a diagnosis of hypothyroidism as soon as possible. Um, excuse me? I walk in with a cold, and I walk out with hypothyroidism? Am I the only one confused here?
My sister has struggled with hypothyroidism for several years now, and has finally gotten her levels under control. She experienced all the typical symptoms of sluggishness/fatigue, hair loss, dry skin, etc. I have absolutely not a single symptom to indicate that hypothyroidism would be on the radar. My lack of symptoms have left us dumbfounded, and thought the scan would surely show that the blood work was a fluke.
After a two day scan of the activity on my thyroid, my doctor confirmed that the function was extremely low, but that there was also an "irregular abnormality" showing up in the images that needed an ultrasound. Again, I began to feel so incredibly confused because I've had ZERO symptoms of anything but a cold. I begin toying with my love/hate relationship with Google and my search leads me to multiple sites of information on thyroid cancer. Cue slight panic. Cue countless rounds of post traumatic stress from my recent year of horror. This seriously cannot be happening again. Am I really going to be one of those people that "came in for a cold only to find out she had cancer?"
We did the ultrasound the same day that the results came back, and a nodule that is pressing right on my esophogus showed up on my left side. Measurements were taken, showing it about 1.8 centimeters in size. A biopsy is immediately the next words of recommendation from my primary care physician, but tells me that he wants me to see a specialist instead of himself. So of course, my next step is to call my cardiologist.
I spoke with my nurse practitioner at Centennial Heart, who recommended, referred, and set an appointment with the best endocrinologist at Centennial Hospital for the following week (today).
She truly was as wonderful as we expected her to be. She has discovered I have an autoimmune disease that is attacking my thyroid, which is making it have almost zero function. At this point, no known treatment for the autoimmune disease is available, so medicine to treat the thyroid function is our next step. It is still a little baffling that I am experiencing zero symptoms, but I have also been told that I very well come out of a "fog" that I didn't even know I was in. My doctor believes that I may not even be noticing that I feel poorly because I feel so much better than I did a year ago while I was experiencing so many issues with my heart.
We discussed the nodule, and she agreed that a biopsy was needed. She feels extremely confident that the results will reveal a benign nodule due to the level of density inside the nodule and that there are no calcifications inside. However, because it is so large and showing some blood flow through it, she felt it best to make sure there are no cancerous cells inside. She did the biopsy herself right in the office in about 10 minutes. Let me tell you, that was the strangest feeling ever. The skin was numb, but the pressure of the large needle moving back and forth in my throat was enough to make me nauseous and lightheaded. Thankfully she was quick to get her 4 samples and everything was complete. We should have the official results in about two weeks, but we are all finally feeling a little positive about it.
Ethan turns 10 months old on Friday! I'll give you all a full update on his happenings then.
My parents have some really fun and sweet neighbors. One of their neighbors has two boys, and she is absolutely the ultimate "boy" Mom. Seriously, she let her oldest son (who is extremely smart) have this incredible saltwater tank that housed an octopus for a few months. Totally cool.
Anyway, she texted Mom last night and asked if either Riley or Ethan would be by the house today, because she had something she would love to show them. So we decided to swing by the house and see what fun thing she had up her sleeve for the boys.
Baby ducks!!!! She brought home 7 baby ducks for them to enjoy for a couple of days before releasing them in the pond on a relative's land. She brought them over so that we could play with them for a few minutes. Let me say, these ducks were SO stinkin' cute. If it weren't for her talking about how much they poop (and given Ethan's history with finding that edible, ha) I would have totally called Jason up and insisted that our home needed baby ducks too.
The kids had a blast with them, especially Riley.
Clearly, I think I was just as excited to play with them as the kids were.
Sweet girl was IN LOVE.
They all ran in a huddle together, so funny!
My sweet boy, extremely frustrated that I wouldn't let him chase the ducks like he wanted to. I was afraid he would grab one with too much aggression, so he had to pet them while Mommy held on.
Hey look! A duck!
It was such a fun, springtime moment. Thanks so much Tina for sharing your temporary pets with us!
