Monday, December 17, 2012

Questions

Sweet Baby Boy,

One day in the near future, you will start to ask questions.  First will come the whats, then whos, then the whens, then the wheres.  I like to think that I will be very patient and willing to answer all your questions and encourage your curiosity of your world.  I fear the day you start to ask "Why?"

You see, baby boy, I won't always know that answer.  You will learn as you grow that grown-ups often ask the same questions that children ask, and struggle to find the answers too.  I hope that I can teach you to understand that sometimes things happen that we won't understand.  I hope that you will grow in your faith to trust that even if God doesn't show us why, that we are put through trials that we may not ever understand.  Sometimes, no matter how much we want to, we may not know why.

I hope that you one day learn that knowing "why" will not change the past.  Knowing "why" does not erase pain, it does not make things all right, and it certainly is never an excuse.  While it is in our nature to desperately seek answers when we are in the middle of confusion, the answers we find often don't fulfill the void we are seeking to eliminate.  We can only fulfill that void by trusting God is at work for something so much bigger, that we may not be able to see it for a very long time.  We may not ever see it, but maybe your children or grandchildren will.  God is more than just today, sweet boy.  He is your eternal future.  Please remember that when you are seeking answers for today.

There are things in this world that are not good things, and even things that are evil.  I pray that you will always remember that even in the midst of the unthinkable evil, God is present.  There isn't a place in this world that you can't take him with you when you keep him in your heart.  No matter what, no one can ever take that away from you as long as you protect it.  Please remember that even when the world seems dark, the heart of life is good.  There is good in everyone, but sadly sometimes it fails to shine through.  Try to seek it in everyone anyway.  Believe.

Believe in the things you cannot see.  Believe in the things you can feel in your heart.  On thing that you will learn as you grow is how things you believe in will change.  That doesn't mean they aren't real, it doesn't mean they don't exist.  It means that you are growing into a deeper level of your faith and understanding.  Teaching you to believe is one reason your Daddy and I are so excited to teach you about Santa.  We want you to believe in the magic of Santa, and in the love that Santa brings to people all over the world.  We want you to believe in the love Santa spreads.

While right now you will dream of Santa in a way that will be completely different when you are older, you are learning to believe in the things you cannot see.  You are learning to have faith in pieces of your heart that some people will tell you are not real.  Those pieces in your heart are real, Ethan.  They will always be real.  Santa is real.  God is real.  No matter how the way you view these things may change, the basis of it all remains the same.  It does exist.  Believe, and when believing is difficult because your world changes, remember that there is a larger picture that much more than today.

I love you,

Mommy

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