Thursday, January 12, 2012

Eliminating Frustrations

I deactivated my Facebook account about a month ago.  You would have thought I told the world that I was taking my child and moving to a deserted island never to be heard from again. 

It wasn't a sudden decision.  Does Facebook ever get on your nerves?  I had the app on my phone and out of habit would check for updates constantly.  I found myself becoming constantly annoyed with the things I was seeing on Facebook, and slowly started to think I needed a break.  I wanted a break.  It was a constant feed (so to speak) of negative activity into my life that I'm in attempt to keep as positive as possible.  I must say, my news feed was quite amusing, but was becoming a tad overwhelmed to constantly read things such as:

Broadcasting your baby mama or baby daddy drama via Facebook status. That is an issue for the court systems, not for your social media circle to rally and trash talk someone.

Complaining incessently about how horrible your life is because your nose is running.  Take some Mucinex, blow your nose, get off Facebook and go to bed.

I do not care that you made macaroni and cheese for dinner right after you brushed your teeth and now you are planning on putting on your pjs.  Mundane details aren't necessary.

You JUST broke up with your fiance last week and are now posting smushy pictures with the "love of your life?"

I understand that you are really passionate about your job, but it isn't necessary to advertise it on your personal page ALL. THE. TIME.  That's what "group" Facebook pages are for.  Invite people to like that page, and make announcements from there.

I'm sorry that you are 18 weeks pregnant and already feel like you are "SO READY" to have that baby already. 

Please don't advertise your desire for a pre-term baby because of your own selfish discomfort. 

I'm so glad that you have a strong feeling about a political view, but labeling others as "stupid" or "insignificant" that don't share those same opinions just displays your ignorance.

Do not have a word vomit fight with your friends on your wall.  Take it to private messaging.

I REALLY don't want to hear that you "got you some" last night.

If you are THAT tired-get off Facebook, go to bed.

I was also becoming really frustrated that it was my ONLY form of communication with some.  I loved using Facebook as a way to keep in touch with a lot of our family that lives far away, but there's always those few Facebook friends (that you can't delete because of the drama that would follow) that ruin it. 

I didn't love finding what I was posting on Facebook reposted elsewhere CONSTANTLY, and there was no privacy setting that prevented "sharing" (I checked and e-mailed.)  I don't mind it once in a while, a share here and there is fine.  It seemed that everytime I would update with a picture or a post, I would find it instantly on someone else's wall or news feed, usually from someone that wanted to appear to be more involved with our lives than they really are.  Facebook should be an accessory to our relationships, not our connection.  If you want to have a relationship with my child, have one.  Don't post MY pictures on your Facebook wall and pretend.  I was enabling the pretend game.

Finally, late one evening, I decided I had all I wanted for a while.  I realized that I was allowing myself open to negativity that didn't have to be there.  I didn't HAVE to read those things, I didn't HAVE to see that stuff, and I didn't HAVE to allow stealing of my pictures and posts. All in all, the ones that are active in our lives didn't mind that the "accessory" was missing because the relationship is still there.  Will I return to my original form of social media? Maybe.  I've actually really enjoyed not having Facebook, so I haven't decided yet. 

Have any of you ever thought about leaving a form of social media due to frustrations?


Katy said...

This all so true! I have often thought about leaving Facebook for many similar reasons, but have not done so because it is the only communication I have with some of my relatives down south. Kudos to you for following through with getting the negative out of your life!

Ashley Belle said...

BRAVA!! I have had the exact same feeling about facebook since having kids. And the EXACT SAME ISSUES with people copying and posting my pictures, as if they were there to share the memory. Let's just say that some even copy my mother's pictures!! So I haven't posted any in a while, and am TERRIFIED to delete it! Maybe you have inspired me...who knows !!! But way to go, I am totally jealous of your courage!

Eliza said...

Hey Paige, so I feel like an internet stalker right now. I went looking for you on FB today and couldn't find you (now I know why, ha). Then I remembered that you have a blog..and long story short, I found you! Anyhow, I'm hoping to email you with some questions I have about summer babies. My due date is right around Ethan's birthday and I'd love your insight into the essentials of having a summer babe (ie, what do they sleep in, etc). Anyhow, I'd love to chat with you sometime soon. Thanks and I hope you and the family are having a beautiful new year! - Liz "Logsdon"

PaigeR530 said...

Hey Liz! I hope you see this! Can you send me your e-mail address? I tried to reply directly to your comment but there is not e-mail attached to it. You can e-mail me at
I'd love to chat with you soon! :)

Valerie said...

About six months ago, I deactivated my FB account. I'm glad to hear that someone else feels the same way as I do about it. While I did enjoy logging in to see what everyone is up to.... I've found that I don't miss it as much as I thought I would. Why was FB so annoyingly addicting to me? I do not know!
I thought I'd take a three-ish month break, but three months has turned into six... so, we'll see. For now, I'm trying to use my computer time a little more wisely... blogging. ha!