Monday, September 5, 2011

Say What?!

Why is it always the grocery stores that you run into the boldest people?

I took Ethan to the grocery store with me a few days ago, and this was my first grocery trip without my Mom or Jason with me for assistance.  We only needed a few things and I thought, "What's the big deal?"  Apparently adults in twos keep the insane comments at bay.

Ethan wasn't the happiest camper that day, and was fussing as we went in.  I was able to calm him quickly, and began to move faster through the store so that we could get in and out before a melt down.  I was moving down my list with great speed, and only had 3 items to go when I had my first loony encounter.

A short, elderly woman stopped me and stood WAY up on her tip-toes to peek into the cart where Ethan's car seat was mounted.  She peaked in and her first question was the obligatory "Is it a boy or girl?" (It's a girl lady, of course that's why she's dressed in navy blue pants, and a red shirt with a football on it.) Our conversation got even more strange.

Old Lady: "Well what's his name?"
A Very Hesitant Mommy: "Um, Ethan."
OL: "Ah, well I like that."
(cue ANOTHER woman in this aisle)
Another Woman: "Ethan? What's his middle name?"
AVHM: "Bryant." (Crap.  Why in the world did I just answer that question?)
AW: wrinkles her nose "People seem to be going back to that kind of things these days."  Shrugs, then leaves.
AVHM: What the hell is that supposed to mean? "Well, have a nice day."
OL: "You know, I had a boy first too, and then I had all girls after that.  He was very protective of his sisters, and even now that they are grown, he would do anything for them."
AVHM: "Well that's very sweet of him, I hope that Ethan is protective of his siblings too."
OL: "Well, he might not be.  I had brothers that were older, and they didn't do that for me.  It was just my son..." (proceeds to tell me her family tree, and Ethan is beginning to squirm.)
AVHM: "Well, that's wonderful your son is such a great brother, have a great day!"
OL: "Well, good luck to you honey, it gets harder."  (great, thanks)

Ethan is nearing a meltdown and we rush through to get my remaining three items and get in line.  As soon as my groceries are unloaded on the belt, Ethan sends out his I'm really, really mad and if you don't get me out of this car seat soon I'm going to scream until you do. (For the record, he did.  All the way to my Mom's house, where I had to drop off a few things I picked up for her.)

Cashier: "Someone's not happy."  (You think?)
AVHM: "Yep."
Bagger: "Aww, he's hungry!"
(Yes, because every time a baby cries, it means he's hungry.  Of course it's responsible parenting to shove food in my child's mouth to soothe him every time he cries, why didn't I think of that? Thank you bagger man, thank you.)
AVHM: "No, he just ate, he's tired and wants out of his car seat."
B: "Oh look, he spit out his pacifier! He must not want that. He's hungry."
AVHM: ignores comment
B: "You know, don't worry that he doesn't have any hair.  I didn't have hair when I was a baby either, but it all came in.  And when it came in, it was BIG (uses hand gestures for emphasis) and really long.  So your baby will get hair one day too, it's ok."
AVHM: (Whew, thank goodness, that is definitely at the top of my lists of concern right now.  Wait, you can't see that very fine, dark hair on his head? Ok, weird.  Wait again! What does YOUR hair growth have to do with MY baby? Do you know something I don't? How did your hair genes get involved with my son?) "Um, thanks, but I'm not really worried about it. Have a nice day."

Lesson learned: Never grocery shop alone in Kentucky.  Not to help tend to your little one, but to yield off ridiculous comments.


Katie @ Loves of Life said...

People NEVER cease to amaze me. I hate the "your baby is hungry" comment. Um, NO-I keep track of that, thankyouverymuch.

Brittney said...

Hahahaha. Sadly, it isn't just KY.

Jen Creed said...

OMG. I love when you share these stories. People are nuts!

Ashley said...

I think he needs a code name for moments like that....Like Elvin Barry. Yep, that's it from now on when complete strangers ask his name tell em its Elvin Barry =)

Jax said...

Ohmygosh! I can't believe people are so brazen to just say whatever the hell they want! Good gravy! You sound like you handled it all with such class and poise.. not surprising.. You rock, girl. :)

Erika and Jason said...

Ugh. Sorry friend. I hate the "she/he must not want the pacifier"....just because they spit it out doesn't mean they don't want it!!!

Ellie said...

Just to add to your "Never Grocery Shop Alone in Kentucky"...

I'm in my late (the latest) 30's (infertile 8 years followed by pregnancy loss), waiting in line at Kroger (in KY) scimming the tabloids on the shelf waiting to empty my cart. Lady behind me has a beautiful baby and I compliment her. She was the grandma, asked me if I had any. I said, "No. Unfortunately, not." She says to me, "Oooooooh. Are you one of THOSE?!" Not sure what she means, I say, "Excuse me?" She says, "Waiting too long and now it's too late? Put your career first and now find it's not happening as quickly as you'd like?" Mortified, I reply, "Why yes. I'm one of those. My husband and I both put our careers and marriage first, trying to create a solid foundation for our future gift you can give a child, ya know? And, well, I guess we waited too long." She says she's sorry, blah, blah, blah...She finally leaves. I get my stuff up on the belt and the checkout lady says to me (I kid you not), "Honey, I heard you talking. I'm so sorry. Can I just strongly suggest that you not worry about having a child. They're nothing but trouble. And expensive! Get a puppy. You just go out tomorrow and buy you the cutest puppy you can find!" With my mouth on the floor, I told her, "Somehow, I don't think that would fill my desire to go to dance recitals and soccer games. But thank you for the suggestion." And I never went back to that Kroger again.

Brittany Ann said...

I HATE the "your baby is hungry" crap. Drives me nuts!

When Ella was about a month old, I braved the grocery for a few things alone with her. And as I was unloading onto the belt, fast (because I could see her about to fuss) the bagger goes to me, "Uh-oh! She's about to blow!" And then stands there and watches her. She doesn't help me. She just watches Ella and laughs. Ugh. Thanks, lady.

Lissa Ann said...

Paige, you've got a much better filter than I do! I've already enjoyed slapping hands away from touching my belly, I'm not looking forward to the stupidity after he's born!

Lissa Ann said...

You have more of a filter than I do Paige! I've already slapped hands off of my belly...I'm almost looking forward to snapping at rude comments...

I like Ashley's code name idea!