Friday, August 12, 2011

Natural vs. Force

"Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding."  Albert Einstein

I'm not against new relationships.  In fact, I always love to welcome them with open arms.  I love meeting new people, making new friends, and developing stronger relationships with those that are already a part of my life.  But I'm extremely stubborn about it, because I want these things to happen on my own terms.  I think these things should happen naturally on both sides.

I don't do well with forcing a relationship.  Some of my friendships became my closest relationships overnight, while others were a slow progression.  I'm ok with this, and I find it difficult to manage when the other is not.  In fact, I often find myself pulling away and not wanting to invest in a relationship at all if I feel that I'm being forced into a closer relationship than I'm ready for.

I do not discuss the most personal details of my life or marriage with everyone, or just anyone.  There are a few that I feel comfortable enough to do so, but others I just don't.  I become extremely uncomfortable and stand offish if I feel that the conversation is getting too personal for the particular relationship.

I truly believe in letting a relationship of any kind develop at its own pace.  Some faster, some slower, for one reason or another.  Yet I struggle when a relationship I want to have (or have to have) is forced into a different pace that isn't natural.  I find it extremely difficult to want to even make efforts in that relationship, which often results in a negative view of the relationship.

I feel that overall, I'm a pretty decent judge of character, and what character types flow well with my own.  While I do value other opinions, I really do not do well with others forcing their opinion of another on me.  Jason and I both experience others forcing their opinion of other individuals on us frequently.  While we both understand that others want us to see what they see, it can sometimes be difficult.  These situations often become awkward and difficult to maneuver, as we feel we need to step carefully to stay true to our gut instincts and not hurt feelings.

How do you all handle these situations?

1 comment:

Lucas and Amanda Hughes said...

Lucas and I have a lot of opinions pushed on us about the way we want to raise our son; we aren't doing a lot of things that seem "normal" to some people and we understand that people just raise their children differently.
Sometimes we just change the subject, as politely as we can, other times with just have to firm with them about what we believe to be the way we should raise our children, no matter what other people do or say. We've actually gotten to the point were it doesn't bother us if we make the other person uncomfortable because they just won't quit.