Monday, April 26, 2010

Struggling...

I love my job. I'm probably too addicted to my job. Yet I'm still struggling right now.


Sometimes my job really tugs my heartstrings a little too much. I'm torn. I want to get a tougher skin so that my job doesn't hurt my heart as much, but I don't ever want to "get used" to the idea of my kiddos living like they do.



One very special little boy, who happens to be my very first client, has been struggling a lot lately. I can't share many details with you due to confidentiality, but I can't help but feel sad for him. I can't help my cry for him on my way home from work sometimes.



My biggest struggle are my kiddos in foster care, especially my really little ones. I struggle so hard with finding a way to explain to them why they can't go home to their Mom and Dad. I struggle with finding the words to comfort them. I struggle looking into their eyes when they are so sad.



I can handle an angry child. I can handle a child that is misbehaving. I am finding it so difficult to handle a child that looks at me with sadness and confusion in their eyes because of the choices their parents make.



I'm struggling. It makes me so sad to see, and it makes my heart hurt. I'm ok most days, but sometimes it really gets me. I need your prayer. MOST importantly, my kiddos need your prayer. Pray for them, pray for their guardians, and pray for their understanding. Pray for them to feel love from somewhere.

4 comments:

littledaisymay said...

I'll say a prayer for them! I can only imagine how hard it is!

Brittany Ann said...

I know how you feel. I struggle with this with my kids, and I have less issues than you to deal with! You and they are in my prayers!

Amy Lynn said...

I'm praying for you and your kiddos Paigey. Love you!

Jax said...

Wow, I'm so sorry you were dealing with this, love. This is one reason I didn't go into family law. That's actually what I went to law school for, but when it came time to do the job thing, I saw how many of my friends practicing family law were wrestling with a lot of the same things you are right now. and I didn't know if I could handle it. I commend you, girl. And I'm also sending a lot of prayers and hugs. You're a great person