Monday, May 11, 2009

Could it be?

Yes, I think it can.  I'm actually, finally, EXCITED!  After being SO freakin' annoyed with certain aspects of this wedding planning, and my bittersweet lessons, I'm EXCITED!!!  I'm taking my bittersweet lessons, filing them under new knowledge, throwing the annoyances out the window and just saying whatever with it all.  Regardless of what has happened over this past year, the most important thing has remained constant throughout this whole process.  I have the man of my dreams in love with me and he actually wants to marry me.  And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.  I've always been excited about this part, and looked forward to it. Unfortunately, some things overshadowed it once in a while.  

But at the end of each day, I'm reminded why we've chosen to do this and that no matter what happens, we're going to stand together. If it's not a perfect day, it's just one for the "not perfect day" column in our book.  There will be more "perfect days" in our marriage than "not perfect days," so what does it really matter if Day 1 is perfect or not?  What matters is that day 1-infinity is happiness, regardless of perfection.  Our marriage won't ever be perfect, Jason will never be perfect, I will certainly NEVER be perfect, so why worry about our wedding day being perfect?  Something WILL go wrong, I'm sure.  It's inevitable.  But we will be Mr. and Mrs. at the end of it, so that MAKES it all perfect.

"We go through life
So sure of where we're headin'
And then we wind up lost
And it's the best thing that could have happened
'Cause sometimes when you lose your way
It's really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah, that's when you find yourself"

If you've never heard this song by Brad Paisley, I strongly recommend it.  It's called (what else?!) Find Yourself.  I found it a few months ago, and I love it.  It's really been a theme song of mine throughout this whole wedding situation, because I really feel that's how Jason and I ended up together.  I had NO intentions of finding someone when I met him, I had other plans. Somehow along the way, I lost that path and found myself and my new life in him.  It's also been a wonderful song for my bittersweet lessons.

I find myself being EXTREMELY sentimental these days.  My parents and Jason and I had dinner last week and discussed all of our last minute plans, and that turned into some sentimental moments.  And if you know me very well, you know that tears do not flow often.  You'd never believe that I cry ALL the time now.  When something is sweet, when I feel sad, when I get angry, and even when I'm happy.  It's all very weird.  I'm hoping it's just a "wedding thing" and goes away soon.   I HATE crying.

I'll leave you tonight with one of my favorite engagement photos:
I love that boy.


Shannon said...

so.. what day are you getting married, exactly? the 23? the 30? i get everyone mixed up :[ I'm awful. and omg that is ONE CUTE PICTURE!!!!!!!! :D and I'm totally 100% positive that your wedding will be the best thing ever. I promise!! I can't wait to see your pictures. Then your honeymoon pictures. Then yall in your new house! woohoo!

Amy Lynn said...

I'm so glad that you are FINALLY excited! You are so perfectly right in your reasoning for being excited. Love you cousin!

PaigeR530 said...

May 30! While you are down in Texas with your man Shannon!! :)

Angie Repetti said...

Whatever doesn't go exactly right on your wedding day just means that you forgot to plan that part...but it's going to happen EXACTLY how it's supposed to be, whether YOU remmebered to included it in the plans or not...(yore Momma taught me that one! 8-D Love you Paigey!

PaigeR530 said...

Haha I semi-disagree with my Momma on that one Aunt Angie. Remember Stanislov? :P Haha Love you too Aunt Angie!

Anonymous said...

PAUSE. Are you and Amy Wells cousins?!?!?!?!? WHY DID I NOT KNOW THAT?!?!?!? Weird that I wasn't aware. Wow...

Anyways, this is what I was going to comment before I saw Amy's comment:

I'm glad that you're finally excited! You deserve to feel a tad of the pre wedding excitement! :)

PaigeR530 said...

HAHAHAHAHA no, that's Amy Wetzler. I love Amy Wells, but she's not my cousin.

Christine, you crack me up

Anonymous said...

Because I call her Amy Lynn, and that's her name when she comments on mine. hahaha.

PaigeR530 said...

AHHH I got ya