Today is my Dad's birthday. I'm really excited to spend the evening with my parents to celebrate. Jason and I are so lucky to have my parents as a support system for us. Things have been getting more difficult around here lately, and it's nice to have non-judgmental ears just a few miles away. I've really enjoyed becoming an adult because my parents have turned into my friends now, and I like it much better that way. :)
I'm such a schmuck. I never used to feel sentimental or emotional, and becoming a Mommy has turned that completely around. Ethan is sleeping 12 hours a night now (crazy, I know) and I feel sad when I put him down to sleep. I know I should be so glad that he sleeps that long, but I immediately start to miss him when he goes down for the night. I just love it when he is awake, smiling and cooing at me. Some nights I rock him a lot longer than he really needs because I'm just not ready to put him down yet.
Ethan had his two month check-up last week. He's growing within all the normal ranges, but definitely on the small side. He's 11.03 pounds, which fell into the 50th percentile, and 22.5 inches long, which is only in the 10-15th percentile! Our pediatrician reassured me that he is still growing normally even if he is small. I'm blown away that he only weighs 11 pounds, since he takes 24-28 ounces of breast milk a day. My only guess his metabolism is a lot like his Momma's.
Ethan's vaccinations broke my heart. His nurse was so good to him, and to me as well. She even allowed us to stay in the room after she was finished to comfort him, feed him, and change him before leaving. He did so well, but I had my first real dose of what a mother feels like to see their child in pain. Beware, all future girlfriends, don't break my son's heart.
I'm still feeling really bitter this week, and extremely angry. I'm having a difficult time accepting that there are people in this world that will lie and cheat to better themselves. It's a struggle for me to fall in line with people that want to use my family for various reasons. I don't do well with feeling used or manipulated by others. I wish that everyone we encounter could understand that sometimes the ball is in their court, and sometimes it is in ours. We cannot accommodate every convenience for others, and it frustrates me so much that it is expected of us.
My son is taking a ridiculously long nap today. He's going to be starving when he wakes up.
Do you all watch Big Brother? I was so sad to see Jordan go last night. She was my favorite during her season, and definitely my favorite this season. I hope she gets the America's Choice prize. As much as she annoyed me all season, I'm officially rooting for Rachel. She really calmed down and acted halfway normal after Brenden left. Portia and Adam don't deserve to be there, they didn't do anything all season except get lucky in a few competitions over the past week.
Is standing up for yourself when you were mistreated always worth it? Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the stress, and know how much easier it would be to let it pass.
We have a lot of women on bed rest at my church for pre-term labor. As difficult as my pregnancy was, I hug my little boy tight and feel so thankful that he decided to come 10 days past my EDD.
I realized the other day how differently I view everything. I see everything from a mother's perspective now. When I watch TV, I wonder what their mother's would think of the crazy things they pull. When reading the horribly sad stories of the children that lost a parent in the 9/11 attacks, I feel so thankful that Jason and I are both here and healthy to raise Ethan. I have such a fear that Ethan will have to grow up without one or both of us.
I have a dear friend that just learned that she is expecting a little boy. Like me, she has been around mostly little girls, and is in a little bit of shock that something new is coming her way. She asked me to make her a list of all the wonderful things I've been able to experience by having a boy instead of a girl. It's had me thinking for the past few days, and I love so much that she sparked a new perspective of how glad I am that Ethan is Ethan and no one else.
Happy Friday, everyone!
3 comments:
First off...12 hours?! Oh my word! I need to know your secret!
S is taking an VERY long nap for her...well sounds like she is waking up now, boo. Type fast type fast:-)
So sorry things have been rough for you. I hope everything works out for you and your family. Always stand up for yourself and what you believe in, you are a very strong woman and deserve nothing less.
I was also thinking about 9/11, how to explain it to S when she grows up...and what it would be like for her to not have one of us in her life, ugh. Breaks my heart.
I am going to be SO sad for S' shots. Sounds like your nurse was amazing. I am definitely going to have my boob ready for her when she's done to help calm her down...and some good mama and dada snuggles.
Ok, I will be thinking good thoughts for you..and Happy Birthday to your dad!!!!
E rarely lets us rock him to sleep anymore, but he let me do it tonight and I didn't want to put his sweet little self down. I love, love that special time with him. :) So don't feel bad about holding him extra long!
I'm with Erika. 12 hours??? HOLY COW! I'm happy when Ella goes six without waking! Though she just nurses and goes right back down, I still can't imagine her making it 12!
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