In a very constructive, respectful debate with a dear friend of mine, we arrived at a question. To confront or not to confront?
Sadly, we tend to hurt the ones we love the most, usually unintentionally. So what do you do when you are the one that is hurt? Do you bring your hurt to their attention, or do you let it go? Is it better for a strong relationship to call attention to the small things that hurt us, or better to overlook them and understand that the action was probably unintentional?
I definitely want to discuss my argument for this topic, as well as the opinion of my friend, but I want to hear from you first! :)
4 comments:
If it's a hurt from my husband, I give it a little bit and if that hurt is still there like a day later, I bring it up and talk about it.
If it's a hurt from my bff or someone in my family, I usually let it go UNLESS its something that happens over and over.
If it's someone that I don't really know, I just tell them right then and their.
I guess mostly thats because even though I've been hurt I don't want to hurt them by telling them they hurt me. I know thats weird but I've always been that way! I'm eager to hear what both of you said!
overlook it and go on! :)
If you think it is always going to eat at you, I think it is better to confront...in a nice way of course. Otherwise it may always impact your relationship and sometimes it is an easy fix. If it truly is a small thing and you know it was unintentional, letting go may be beneficial....but I always let someone know if I am really upset. Because I would want them to tell me! Those are my two cents...
My husband and I have learned that we need to talk about every single thing that we do that hurts one another, whether it is intentional or not. We find that it works best for us if we talk about those things. Why would I not let him know something he did hurt me - even if it was unintentional - and let him do it again? Or vice versa.
I also think in friendships it is better to confront than to not confront and let the hurt keep happening over & over. Eventually it's going to get to where you can't take it anymore and will do a lot more harm in the end than if it had been exposed in the first place.
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