I find it very easy to talk about everything with my husband (a reason why I married him!). I find it very easy to approach him with things that may have hurt my feelings, and break it to him in a way that won't his feelings in return. We never intentionally hurt one another, although we sometimes miss a step and do cause hurt feelings. He and I have never had difficulty communicating anything.
I do find it difficult with friends to confront them sometimes. I know that my truest friends have never intentionally done anything to hurt me, so I find it difficult to discuss these things. I fear straining a relationship that I really don't want to strain by speaking up in situations that could just be looked over. Although I do find fault in this, because looking over these small things often continue to build, and then the friendship goes beyond repair.
I'm usually pretty good at letting things go. Sometimes, it may take me a few days, but I can overlook a lot. And I have definitely overlooked a LOT over this past year. But I have also realized that most friendships that I have overlooked unfortunate circumstances usually causes more damage in the long run.
I also feel like my comfort to confront usually says a lot about how I value the relationship. With my relationship with my husband-I WANT things to stay as healthy and happy as they are. I've often noticed that I can determine the friendships I value most by wanting to make sure they remain healthy.
I definitely don't bring up every tiny thing, because I am aware that I can sometimes be oversensitive and take things the wrong way. But on the things that really hurt my feelings, I can usually find a way to bring it up. I may even just bring it up in a small conversation and brush over it. It may never turn into a large discussion. I don't find it necessary to make every bump in the road a long conversation. Sometimes just throwing it out there, even lightly, is enough to make me feel better. :)
5 comments:
So true...I think the relationships that we bring things up and want it all settled are the ones that mean the most to us...hmm.
Something to think about! Thanks!
hey paige...dont forget to fill out the swap form on that blog entry or it won't sign you up :)
I feel ya.. I don't bring up everything, even when truly bothered. it's like I need some time to process it and break it down before I say something.. and I can almost always say something to Eric, but some friends... I just hold my tongue. I agree that the friendships that are the healthiest are the ones where you're not afraid to say something that could end up making them better in the long run. :) Good post.
And thanks for the kind words on my blog today!!
Great post my dear. It was a thinker. I love reading this type of stuff from you!
Hey hun!! I used to be the type that just let things go, but eventually realized that people started to walk all over me. I now voice my concerns, feelings, no matter what. I've found that the ones who really care....try to make something work, and the ones that don't, well they aren't the type of people we need in our lives anyway!!
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