Did We Really Get This Far?

My Baby Boy,

We grow more amazed with you each day.  It is so difficult to believe that nearly 6 months ago, you and I were fighting for our lives in one of the most frightening situations I have ever been in.  We prayed you would make it through the first surgery without problems, for you were so small we weren't sure if you could survive through any procedures.  You did.  We then prayed during the second surgery that the anesthesia would not result in preterm labor, for you hadn't yet reached the age of viability.  It didn't.  You made it through both.  Many ultrasounds later, we learned that every single bit of you was still 100% perfect.  Your organs were developing and growing, your fingers and toes were growing, and you seemed perfectly on track.  We quickly learned how resilient you must be, and began to dream of the great things that God has in store for you.  We hold onto the faith that you are capable of and will do amazing things in this world, for he intended for you to survive through what we never imagined little you could survive.

We got a quick sneak peak at you this week! The doctors wanted to check and make sure you were positioning yourself to begin considering joining us in the world and we got a quick glimpse of your sweet little face.  You look just like your Daddy.  Don't worry, you'll see for yourself soon what a great thing that is.  We will be fighting the girls off of you before we know it.

I hope you realize someday just how special you are to us.  It may take enough years for you to have your own child, but I hope and pray that Daddy and I help you understand what a precious gift you have already been in our lives.  There will never be a day that we won't remember what it took to get you here, or the love we already have for a little boy we have never seen face to face.

Within the next month, you and I will finally get that chance.  I have no idea how it is possible for me to love you more than I do right now, but I know that I will.  We have so many things we want to teach you, talk to you about, and give you.

Today, you and I have a finish line in sight! No matter if you decide to hang out for 4 more weeks or come within an hour, you will not be considered premature.  You are my little "full-term" miracle.   Today we have been together for 37 weeks.  You and I have come a long way together, and I cannot wait for our very first moment of hugs and kisses.  The doctors have given your Daddy and I every reason to believe that you are safe, comfortable, and perfectly healthy.  I need to see that for myself.  While I certainly believe them, this extra little tug in my heart won't believe them 100% until I see your sweet face and listen to you cry.

Some days, especially today, I think about how I cannot believe we actually made it this far.  Throughout this entire process, I have learned and have faith that you have also learned to keep moving forward.  Sometimes, baby boy, you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even if you have no idea where in the heck you are going.  When you get to your destination, you will look back and wonder, how did I ever get here?  Just know, sweet baby, that you didn't do it alone.  Daddy and I will always be there to back you up in your unknown journeys.  Keep your faith and keep praying, and God will walk with you too.  Never forget the journey that gets you from point A to point B, and you will be amazed at the strength you had to get there.

We love you Ethan!