Independent Man

We made it through Ethan's first day of Early Learning! I was a bundle of nerves all day.  It was a little weird to see his name on a lunch box, pack him a back pack, and leave him with someone I hardly know.

Ethan didn't help my nerves by being incredibly fussy all morning.  He was insisting on playing with one of my makeup brushes, and would not give me the time of day for a decent "first day of school" photo.  So this is what we ended up with.

Walking my boy in.

We walked into Ethan's classroom, gave him a kiss and put him down.  Without even looking back, he made a beeline for the slide and started to play.  Jason and I stood there for a few minutes, not really sure what to do.  Do we slip out and leave?  No, what if he freaks out when he realizes we are gone?! Do we make sure he knows we are leaving? No, that may freak him out and he may throw a fit. So we just stood there.

He glanced back once or twice, and we would smile and wave and say "bye-bye!"  He never acknowledged our words, and continued battle for slide time take his turn on the slide like a well-behaved child.

I could feel a knot in my throat, so glad he wasn't struggling with his new environment, but so sad that he was doing so well.  He seemed so big.  So independent.  I knew this day would come, I just never realized it would come so soon.

We slipped out, and I managed to hold back most of my tears.  We stood at the window for a few more minutes, watching him go down on the slide.  I guess we were waiting for a meltdown, so we could rush in, pick him up, and make it a million times worse for the teachers.

Work was killer.  It took forever to reach 2 o'clock.  I wanted to call and see how he was.  I wanted to sneak back behind his door and make sure he wasn't afraid.

We made it to 2, and found him sitting on top of the slide, just as we left him.  His teachers told me that he was wonderful all day.  They said that anytime they had free-time for play, Ethan was on the slide.  He didn't nap all day, but they just made the adjustment to his needs and allowed him to eat lunch early instead.  Cue proud Momma.  Cue really tired baby.  Within moments of being in the car, he passed out from a successful day at school.

Now we can only hope it wasn't a fluke and that Monday goes well.  Fingers crossed.

Letting Go

There's a small pit in my stomach today.

Today my BABY takes another new step and enters his very first Early Learning Program at a local church.  He will go two half-days a week while I work, and continue to spend the remainder of my working time with my Mom.

It's time for him to play with other kids, I know this.  I know how much this will benefit him when he starts kindergarten, and how much his knowledge will grow with trained professionals beginning to teach him.  But my stomach still hurts.

See, it's not just about leaving him.  I am sad that he is growing old enough to benefit from these types of programs.  While it sucks, I've been leaving him with my Mom, three days a week for 8 months now.  I've grown somewhat comfortable with this.  It's about letting go. My mom honors all of our wishes when it comes to Ethan.  She feeds him what I ask, she disciplines him the way I ask, she even follows the exact routine that we established before I returned to work.  She's definitely been the easiest caregiver of all because I don't have to worry about something happening with Ethan that I wouldn't approve of.  That all changes today.

His nap/rest time will change.  His lunch time will change.  The discipline rules *thankfully* strongly resemble my own.  But I don't get to choose that.  While I got to choose which ELC to enroll Ethan in, the rest is out of my hands.  Today I have to put my trust in a program that won't see him as the greatest miracle to be born.  While they may be wonderful, they won't love him like I do.  Like Jason does.  Like my Mom does.

It's so much more than letting my baby grow up and encounter new adventures.  It's letting go of a little piece of control I have had over Ethan's daily life.  I have to hand that over today, and to be honest, I'm quite nervous.  Drop-off could become an ugly, horrible, crying mess that results in clinging tighter than ever before.  And that's not even mentioning what Ethan may do.

Wish us luck.

Oh! The Places You Will Go!

Even though it was over a month ago, I still have to share with you Ethan's Dr. Seuss party.  We worked so hard on it, and he seemed to really enjoy his day (although he was a bit overwhelmed by the massive amount of people that we crammed into our house.)

So here we go, mostly in pictures:

Our foyer

Living Room

Mantle

Jason made this sign for Ethan for our front yard.  Isn't it cool?!  I also LOVE his t-shirt.  It was a great Etsy find.

The food table.  In case you are planning on your own Dr. Seuss party, our menu consisted of:

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish (Colored Goldfish crackers)
Truffula Tree Pops (Cream cheese wraps)
Hop on"Pop"corn
Poodles with Noodles (Pasta Salad)
Crummies in Tummies (chips, and a few other veggies with dip)
Green Eggs (yes, I put food coloring in deviled eggs)
Roast Beast and Three Decker Sauerkraut and Toadstool Sandwiches (Roast beef sandwiches, ham & turkey sandwiches)

The small arrow sign that Jason helped me make that listed our menu.  And yes, the centerpiece does consist of real fish.  One goldfish in one vase, two goldfish in another, one red beta fish in another, and one blue beta fish in another.  Get it? The three goldfish died within about 12 hours of the end of our party, but the two beta fish are still going strong!  We attempted to give them away as favors, but only my sister obliged.  So now we have a blue fish (rightfully named Seuss) hanging out in our house. Yay.

The actual favors that the parents allowed their kids to take.  Green Egg sugar cookies! Made from scratch by yours truly.

Ethan's cakes.  Oh my gosh these turned out wonderfully.  I really debated on getting a baker for this first party, but just couldn't part with the money for it.  Cakes are so expensive!  Luckily, my Mom was worked in a bakery during her college days, so she helped me out.  Ok.  She pretty much did it all.  I just kind of sat there and told her what I wanted it to look like.  But I will take credit for the Jolly Rancher fish on the side of the big cake.  I did make those.  Shrug.

Ethan LOVED his smash cake, and made a huge mess with it.  He is certainly not like his Momma, and pretty much stuck to the icing.  However he got a huge kick out of sharing bites with other people.  He thought that was hysterical.  Singing "Happy Birthday" to my little boy was one of those kicker moments for me.  He was a little confused at the loud chorus in our backyard, but I couldn't help but think: "No, no no! I'm not ready for this, he's not a year old yet! He's still my brand new baby." Luckily, the moment passed quickly before I made a total fool out of myself and burst into tears in front of 30+ people.

A post cake bath in the kitchen sink was absolutely necessary.

One of the other cool things we did was set up a photo booth for all of our guests to take a picture with our birthday boy.  We printed each copy and mailed them off in our thank-you notes.  I'm very proud to say that I made those truffle trees all by myself, and Jason made the other arrow sign.

 

Ethan could have cared less about opening gifts.  He opened one, maybe two, and was ready to play with his new finds.  If there hadn't been so many people wanting to see their gift opened, I think we would have just let him open them in his own time, even if it took a few days.  Thankfully, Riley stepped in and helped me out with ripping the paper and showing Ethan his new massive amount of toys and books.

I LOVED how many books Ethan got that day.  We made the request in our invitation to bring Ethan a book instead of a card and sign that instead.  We didn't care if it was new or used or came off a cereal box (haha Grandma Lucy! He loves those!)  They are something that he can keep and use for years to come.  I'm so glad we decided to do that instead of birthday cards.  Our boy loves to look at books, and he has already gotten so much entertainment from flipping through them all.

Our gift to Ethan was a water table.  It wasn't fully set up yet in this picture, but he liked it.  However, he doesn't care to much for it anymore.  Shrug.  Maybe he will like it next year?

My parents got him a wagon (per my request) so we could have some fun evening walks.  He LOVES it.  He climbs in and out of it, giggles and squeals when we pull him around.  He especially loves it when we put Fenway in there with him, but Fenway kind of hates it. 

I really expected Ethan to be EXHAUSTED by the end of his party.  However, Jason and I were the only ones exhausted.  I was so glad that we had such a good turn out for our sweet boy's first birthday, and that he seemed to have such a great time.  A friend told me that children's birthday parties were a mother's Super Bowl, and I couldn't agree more.  I'd say this year was a total touchdown.

Well Hello...

Oh hi.  Remember me? Better yet, is anyone still out there?

I'm not sure where this unintentional month-long hiatus came about.  But I am sure that I have so much to fill you in on! Ethan's Dr. Seuss party, his walking update, and his potty updates! Yes, my baby is 13 months old and we have had THREE successful attempts at using a potty.

Life and laziness (let's be honest, shall we?) have kept me from posting lately, but I hope to resume that SOON!  It's impossible to NOT share how cute Ethan's party turned out, isn't it?!

Toddler Boy-12 Months!

Ethan,

Today is your BIRTHDAY!! 

                                                
You are officially my toddler, 12 months old! You weigh 21.6 pounds and are in 12 month clothing.  You are still wearing size 3 diapers, and quite a talker!!


Ethan's First Year from Paige Orlando on Vimeo.
You are so close to taking your first steps, but you haven't quite gotten brave enough to let go of our fingers.  Truth is, I'm not sure Mommy is ready to let go either.

You are quite a talker.  You say "Hi," "Bye-Bye," "Dog," "Hi Granny," "Daddy," "Momma," "Thank you," "Ruff (your stuffed puppy's name)," "Yeah," and a lot of other words I can't understand yet.  You are trying really hard to say "Pappy," but right now it's just "puh."

You survived your first virus and high temperature this month, and I'm hoping that is something you don't deal with again for a very long time!

You had your first birthday party this past weekend, and you had a blast! You LOVED your first taste of sugar, but I'm thinking those days will be few and far between.  You were WILD that night.  Sorry, kiddo, cookies to a minimum for you.

Happy Birthday sweet boy. I can't believe we are already at this point.  You are my toddler already, and I miss my tiny baby.  If I could keep you little, I would so that I could always cuddle you and snuggle you; but I know how much we would miss if we didn't get to watch you grow into the funny little boy you are.  We love you.

Love,
Mommy

Remember Remember

My sweet little boy,

I can't believe you aren't a baby anymore.  Tomorrow marks your very first birthday.  Today marks the first 24 hours of my labor with you.

A few weeks ago, we had your birthday pictures taken by our very favorite photographers, and she asked me a simple question.  I know it was for her benefit to get some of the greatest pictures ever, but it really made me think.  She asked me what I wanted to remember the most about your infancy and these sweet moments we've had over the past year.  It caught me way off guard, and I think I ended up giving her a half hearted answer because I'm just not sure I can pinpoint what I don't want to remember.

I want to remember how expressive you are.  Strangers compliment on how animated your face is already.  You don't just giggle and cry, you have been communicating with your face your entire life.  You have a "W-T-F" face, an inquitisitve face, a proud face, an "I love you" face, a "go to hell" face (courtesy of your Momma), an angry face, a hurt feelings face, a frustrated face, a tired face, a flirty face, and even a michevious face.  You wear your heart on your shoulder already, and I adore that about you.

I want to remember how inquisitive you are.  You really aren't interested in toys or television, you want to explore your surroundings.  You want to crawl, climb and figure out new ways to get into things you know you aren't supposed to be into.  You're so curious about your surroundings.  You study objects you've never seem before, and you want to examine every angle of a new cabinet that you've recently discovered.

I want to remember how much you giggle and play in your crib first thing in the morning before we come to get you.

I want to remember how funny you think Fenway is, and how you enjoy trying to make him growl.  I want to remember how patient he has been with you while you learn what "be gentle means.

I want to remember how peaceful and comfortable you look when you fall asleep on your Daddy every night.  You really prefer his comfort when it is bedtime, and while I wish you would let me rock you to sleep once in a while, I love the image of your snuggle time with him.  I want to remember our whole family hugs every single night right before we put you in your crib.

I want to remember how sweet the word "Mama" sounds when you say it, especially when you become the age that you say my name so frequently that I will want to change it to something else.

I want to remember how amazed you were with yourself when you started to creep across the floor and get to objects you wanted that were far away.

I want to remember those first few moments we had alone together in the hospital.  Your daddy was sleeping, and the nurse brought you in to nurse.  You were such a pro, and fell asleep quickly after finishing.  I want to remember how sweet your squishy face looked in that moment and remember how wonderful it felt to realize that you were mine.

I want to remember when you first started to roll over repeatedly to get across the room.  I want to remember how funny we found it that we would lay you down, and turn around for a split second, only to find you about 6 feet away from your original location.  I want to remember how mischevious you looked when you would grin after we found you in a new location.

I want to remember how weak and small your cry sounded when you were brand new, and how amazed we were when it would gain strength.  I want to remember periodically videotaping you cry just to compare how different that sound changed over the months.

I want to remember the way your pretty hair curled in the back, and how much we are hoping that your entire head curls that way.

I want remember how big of a flirt you were with older women, especially blonde women.  You always get a kick out of a pretty girl giving you attention.  Your Pappy and your Daddy are the only two men you will go to 100% of the time.  The rest of them are a toss up.  You are certainly a ladies man, and I want to remember how cute I found that to be.  I'm sure when you are a teenager I won't find it as cute.

I want to remember how loving you are to your stuffed animals.  I hope that kindness and love continues to be a dominant part of your personality as you grow.

I want to remember that you used to clap with one palm to the top of your other hand. 

I want to remember how proud you were of yourself when you could identify your nose, teeth, and ears when we asked.  I want to remember that the first time you signed "more,"  you giggled and laughed and clapped for yourself.  Every single time since that moment, you clap for us to show you the sign, since we made such a big deal out of it for you.  You are still so small, but you already want to try to build others up the way we try to build you up.  I pray you stay that considerate and thoughtful.

I want to remember how much you hated riding in the car.  I want to remember how much you preferred to be carried everywhere, and the stroller was as evil as the car seat.

I want to remember how much you gagged out of disgust the first time we fed you green beans.

I want to remember the fun you had at bathtime.

I want to remember watching you discover the Christmas presents under the tree, and trying so hard to get to them and see what they were all about.

Mostly, I want to remember exactly how we felt the moment you came into our lives.  Somehow though, I'm pretty sure that is one that I won't ever have a hard time with.

I can't believe your "baby" stage is already gone and you are my toddler.  As important as it is for me to remember all the sweet moments you gave me in your first year, it's more important for you to remember that no matter how old you get, I will always love you and I will always believe in you.

Love,
Mommy

Princess Riley

A few weeks ago Riley performed in her very first ballet recital.  She was such a little doll, and seemed to really enjoy the stage.  She was in the youngest group of children to perform, which is always the most entertaining to watch.  The girls giggle, blow kisses, forget their dance, take huge bows, and a few get stage fright.  Riley was a total ham.  She remembered most of her dance, and completely improvised when she forgot.  I was so proud of her!



Posing outside in her "pajama" costume



Her extremely proud grandparents.  Riley was obsessed with how many flowers everyone gave her.



So proud of my sweet niece.



Riley with her parents.

Riley's BFF, K.  They are so silly together!

My video of her actual performance turned out awful because of the lighting and my poor focusing skills.  So here is a sample of her performance that I took during one of her rehearsals.  How stinking cute is she?!