In reviewing my unemployment decision documents, I have been reviewing legal cases that my referee indicated and listed in my documentation was a case of Wimberly v. Labor and Industrial Relations Commission of Missouri.
This case discusses a woman who took leave during her pregnancy, and her job was not available to her when she returned. She was denied unemployment benefits because her pregnancy was not "caused" by her job. This case made a ruling that States are not required to approve benefits to women who must take leave during pregnancy. This ruling states that illness during pregnancy or pregnancy complications are no exception to the rule of "quitting without good cause attributable to the employment."
How is it acceptable that being unable to return to work due to the risk of detriment to you and an unborn child is not understood by our government?! How is it acceptable for employers to FIRE you for these complications and not be held accountable for assistance once your health is restored? How is it acceptable that you are fired for this cause and the government views that you voluntarily chose this? Please sense my sarcasm when I say: "Of course I want two heart surgeries and risk my child's life. Sign me up! Allow me to volunteer for that during my next pregnancy too."
I'm mad. Steaming mad. I'm bitter and I'm pissed off. I think it is ridiculous that we, as mothers, are not supported by our legislature in multiple areas. Our legally required maternity leave time is unacceptable, our options to protect and provide for our families during complications are unacceptable, and our limited abilities to care for our children on our own is unacceptable. I do not understand how it is possible for those who are blatantly cheating the systems are easily accepted, approved, and assisted, but an individual who wants to do the right thing and follow the rules properly gets slapped in the face. What is WRONG with this picture?
Our "systems" need an overhaul.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
The Truth
In a bold attempt to be completely honest, things suck.
Today Jason and I learned that the truth does not always prevail. We've had an extremely disappointing, heartbreaking moment today that I really never wanted to believe would ever come. I'm choosing to lay it all out there because at this point, I'm not quite sure what else there is to lose. I'm choosing to lay the facts out here, but I'm going to attempt to keep my feelings about it at minimum for legal reasons.
Many of you have followed and read long enough to know the events of our past year. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of my first heart surgery, the surgery that first made us realize how unlikely it was that Ethan would ever enter the world alive. That surgery completely turned our worlds upside down. We were fearful of my life, Ethan's life, and our future. Things went downhill from there health wise for a while.
During this time, I had no choice but to be removed from all forms of work. I was put on restricted activity, as restricted as you can get without complete bed rest. I had no choice but to take a leave of absence from my job, a job that I very much loved, with clients that I cared deeply for and still wonder and worry about. As sad as I was to abruptly leave my clients and their families, my doctors felt that work was aggravating my condition, and the suspected virus that I contracted was likely contracted at our summer program. While these were complete speculations, they are the only answer we have for the cause of my health condition last winter.
It has taken a while to completely recover from this condition, and we are still not 100% sure that the condition will not be long term. We will see my cardiologist again this month to determine if the delivery of Ethan allowed the remaining amount of my symptoms to diminish. However, while I was still requesting to return to work during my leave of absence, I was never allowed to do so. The inability to get a work release from my doctors resulted in the loss of my job in March, when FMLA would no longer protect me. This was not a pretty 12 weeks between my employer and myself, as I was doing everything I could think of to keep my job.
We were lucky that I had been paying for a short term disability insurance policy when I got sick. That policy kept us financially afloat throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. I'm not quite sure where we would be if we hadn't bought that policy, but we are so glad that it was there for us.
Jason received a promotion shortly after Ethan was born, and we had hoped that it would be enough to alleviate the pressure of job searching. It wasn't. His promotion was tremendously helpful, but it wasn't enough. We've known that I would need to return to work in order to provide for Ethan, as we just aren't quite able to become a one-income family yet. So upon my medical release to return to work, therefore losing my short term disability insurance, I filed for unemployment benefits to get us through while I looked for something that would be best for all of us. Of course this isn't exactly something I wanted to do, but it was something we had to do in order to stay afloat until I find something.
My previous employer protested my benefits, claiming that I quit my job and therefore should be denied benefits. The state sided with my employer, and I filed an appeal. I researched, wrote letters, and provided as much evidence as I possibly could to present in a hearing to prove that I absolutely did not quit my job. I needed that job. That job had a wonderful health insurance plan that saved us thousands of dollars in coinsurance for my surgeries. Unfortunately, we lost that plan when I was fired in March, leaving quite a burden from the remaining medical visits and then Ethan's delivery. Knowing what would be stacked against us if I did leave my job, I would have never quit. I had all the proof in the world to show it.
My hearing was last Tuesday, and I can't begin to explain to you the sickening feeling I've had preparing and waiting for this confrontation with my previous employer. I've been so angry at the way I have been treated, I feared that my stupid mouth would get me in trouble. I managed to remain calm, answer the facts, and not say the things that I have wanted to say. I 100% believe that there is nothing else I could have said or done to better prepare for that 45 minutes.
We received our letter of the results from the hearing today, and the decision was not in our favor. For whatever reason, although I did everything I could to protect my position, requesting medical leave required by physicians that results in a termination has been viewed as a voluntary separation. While they determined that my "voluntary separation" was for good cause, they did not feel that it was attributable to my employer because I cannot 100% prove that "work" caused my condition. Of course I can't prove that. No one knows. We can speculate. We can assume. Although it is obvious that work was aggravating the condition, that is apparently not what matters.
Because a heart condition is not at the fault of my employer, I don't deserve unemployment while looking for a new position in this horrible economy, according to my previous employers. I didn't ask to get sick. I didn't ask to be fired. I didn't ask to have to worry every moment if Ethan and I were going to survive. I didn't do anything wrong. Therefore, we are forced to become a one-income family that just doesn't cover it for who knows how long. I feel pretty crushed, to say the least. I feel embarrassed to even have to admit what's going on. I feel that I did nothing wrong, yet I ended up in a situation where someone didn't believe the truth. They didn't believe me. I feel frustrated that I don't know what is going to fall into our laps or when it is going to fall into our laps.
I know, and I have faith, that things will ultimately be ok, but that doesn't make them ok tonight. I know this entire situation is happening for a reason that I may never understand, and that one day it will be such a small piece of our past. That doesn't make it any easier right now. I would love to say that I intend to wake up tomorrow with a smile on my face and ready to put this behind me, but that probably isn't going to happen either. I was really hoping for December 10th to roll around and be able to reflect at how far we had come from such a nightmare tale, but it seems that we will still be wondering where the heck we are going.
Today Jason and I learned that the truth does not always prevail. We've had an extremely disappointing, heartbreaking moment today that I really never wanted to believe would ever come. I'm choosing to lay it all out there because at this point, I'm not quite sure what else there is to lose. I'm choosing to lay the facts out here, but I'm going to attempt to keep my feelings about it at minimum for legal reasons.
Many of you have followed and read long enough to know the events of our past year. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of my first heart surgery, the surgery that first made us realize how unlikely it was that Ethan would ever enter the world alive. That surgery completely turned our worlds upside down. We were fearful of my life, Ethan's life, and our future. Things went downhill from there health wise for a while.
During this time, I had no choice but to be removed from all forms of work. I was put on restricted activity, as restricted as you can get without complete bed rest. I had no choice but to take a leave of absence from my job, a job that I very much loved, with clients that I cared deeply for and still wonder and worry about. As sad as I was to abruptly leave my clients and their families, my doctors felt that work was aggravating my condition, and the suspected virus that I contracted was likely contracted at our summer program. While these were complete speculations, they are the only answer we have for the cause of my health condition last winter.
It has taken a while to completely recover from this condition, and we are still not 100% sure that the condition will not be long term. We will see my cardiologist again this month to determine if the delivery of Ethan allowed the remaining amount of my symptoms to diminish. However, while I was still requesting to return to work during my leave of absence, I was never allowed to do so. The inability to get a work release from my doctors resulted in the loss of my job in March, when FMLA would no longer protect me. This was not a pretty 12 weeks between my employer and myself, as I was doing everything I could think of to keep my job.
We were lucky that I had been paying for a short term disability insurance policy when I got sick. That policy kept us financially afloat throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. I'm not quite sure where we would be if we hadn't bought that policy, but we are so glad that it was there for us.
Jason received a promotion shortly after Ethan was born, and we had hoped that it would be enough to alleviate the pressure of job searching. It wasn't. His promotion was tremendously helpful, but it wasn't enough. We've known that I would need to return to work in order to provide for Ethan, as we just aren't quite able to become a one-income family yet. So upon my medical release to return to work, therefore losing my short term disability insurance, I filed for unemployment benefits to get us through while I looked for something that would be best for all of us. Of course this isn't exactly something I wanted to do, but it was something we had to do in order to stay afloat until I find something.
My previous employer protested my benefits, claiming that I quit my job and therefore should be denied benefits. The state sided with my employer, and I filed an appeal. I researched, wrote letters, and provided as much evidence as I possibly could to present in a hearing to prove that I absolutely did not quit my job. I needed that job. That job had a wonderful health insurance plan that saved us thousands of dollars in coinsurance for my surgeries. Unfortunately, we lost that plan when I was fired in March, leaving quite a burden from the remaining medical visits and then Ethan's delivery. Knowing what would be stacked against us if I did leave my job, I would have never quit. I had all the proof in the world to show it.
My hearing was last Tuesday, and I can't begin to explain to you the sickening feeling I've had preparing and waiting for this confrontation with my previous employer. I've been so angry at the way I have been treated, I feared that my stupid mouth would get me in trouble. I managed to remain calm, answer the facts, and not say the things that I have wanted to say. I 100% believe that there is nothing else I could have said or done to better prepare for that 45 minutes.
We received our letter of the results from the hearing today, and the decision was not in our favor. For whatever reason, although I did everything I could to protect my position, requesting medical leave required by physicians that results in a termination has been viewed as a voluntary separation. While they determined that my "voluntary separation" was for good cause, they did not feel that it was attributable to my employer because I cannot 100% prove that "work" caused my condition. Of course I can't prove that. No one knows. We can speculate. We can assume. Although it is obvious that work was aggravating the condition, that is apparently not what matters.
Because a heart condition is not at the fault of my employer, I don't deserve unemployment while looking for a new position in this horrible economy, according to my previous employers. I didn't ask to get sick. I didn't ask to be fired. I didn't ask to have to worry every moment if Ethan and I were going to survive. I didn't do anything wrong. Therefore, we are forced to become a one-income family that just doesn't cover it for who knows how long. I feel pretty crushed, to say the least. I feel embarrassed to even have to admit what's going on. I feel that I did nothing wrong, yet I ended up in a situation where someone didn't believe the truth. They didn't believe me. I feel frustrated that I don't know what is going to fall into our laps or when it is going to fall into our laps.
I know, and I have faith, that things will ultimately be ok, but that doesn't make them ok tonight. I know this entire situation is happening for a reason that I may never understand, and that one day it will be such a small piece of our past. That doesn't make it any easier right now. I would love to say that I intend to wake up tomorrow with a smile on my face and ready to put this behind me, but that probably isn't going to happen either. I was really hoping for December 10th to roll around and be able to reflect at how far we had come from such a nightmare tale, but it seems that we will still be wondering where the heck we are going.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Wow! What a Picture Overload
We've had a really busy week! More on that later, but I wanted to catch up and tell you all about Ethan's first Halloween.
I'm not a big fan of Halloween, just because I think it's silly. Am I the only one that thinks it is slightly strange to walk from home to home of people you don't or barely know and ask for food? Anyway. It's not my favorite holiday, but it is more fun now that we have Ethan.
Riley flashed back to our childhood and wore one of my sister's old costumes...She was Rainbow Brite!! She insisted on being called Rainbow all evening and wouldn't answer to Riley.
We loved our mild Halloween evening with lots of fun with the kiddos!
I'm not a big fan of Halloween, just because I think it's silly. Am I the only one that thinks it is slightly strange to walk from home to home of people you don't or barely know and ask for food? Anyway. It's not my favorite holiday, but it is more fun now that we have Ethan.
Riley flashed back to our childhood and wore one of my sister's old costumes...She was Rainbow Brite!! She insisted on being called Rainbow all evening and wouldn't answer to Riley.
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| We took E to see his great-grandparents, who spoiled him rotten with lots of fun teething toys, books, and a new musical toy he's obsessed with. |
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| Cousin love |
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| My Little Charlie Brown! |
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| Seriously, I have no idea what's going on here, but it cracks me up. |
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| Granny at her finest. |
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| Pappy and Riley |
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| We also took the kids to see some friends of ours! We grew up with Brittany, and she is getting married in April! Riley is going to be her flower girl, and constantly talks about how Miss Brittany is going to be a princess. |
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| Ethan loves him some Brittany! :) |
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| Brittany's mom, Lisa. Lisa and Danny (Brittany's parents) have been close friends of my parents way before they had children. |
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| Mrs. Lisa gave Ethan and Riley lots of fun toys and books for Halloween! |
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| Riley and Danny. Riley has more fun answering the door to hand out candy. One child came to the door without a parent. She said, "Hey! Where's your Mommy and Daddy? You shouldn't be here by yourself." She also demanded everyone say trick-or-treat to her. Ha! |
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| Ethan with Pappy and Danny |
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| Riley helping out Brittany with the door. |
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| The Crowe Family |
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| Someone was getting sleepy. |
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| Really sleepy. |
Monday, October 31, 2011
Ethan's First Halloween!
It's Ethan's First Halloween!
We decided that we wanted a unique costume for Ethan, rather than one that we found online. We originally wanted to order him this adorable penguin costume I found. Ethan, however, is on the small side for his age and we were afraid that that it wouldn't fit him properly. So we decided to go with a simple, homemade costume.
My little Charlie Brown! :)
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| The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!! :) |
*We're not really taking him trick-or-treating him. We're actually just dressing him up for pictures, and taking him to see our local relatives and a few family friends. Close enough.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Help A Momma Out!
I have one baby product that I HATE, but I don't know how to live without them. Unless we move to Hawaii or somewhere cool like that. Well, warm like that.
Baby socks.
It's not the washing machine that eats his socks that makes us not have matches anymore, it's the inability to keep them on his feet!
Dilemma one:
We often discover one bare foot and one sock foot, with no idea when the bare foot lost its sock. Sometimes we find them in our path, but often we do not.
Dilemma two:
Footie pajamas are great, but they aren't much help when we dress him for outings. Any ideas on how to keep his feet warm during this cold spell?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
4 Months
Hi Stinky Boy!
Today you are 4 months old! You weigh about 13.4 pounds and we *think* you are a little longer than 24 inches. We will know for sure at your check-up on Tuesday. You are definitely on the small side, but you are growing well so we aren't worried. People ask us all the time if you were a premature baby, and are shocked when they find out that you were later than the doctor's schedule. You are still a HUGE eater, to the point that we've even had to begin supplementing with formula. :( We have been less than thrilled about this, but you seem to be faring well with it, so as long as you are still taking a majority of breast milk, I won't complain too much. I'm so afraid for you to become a teenager, you are going to eat everything in sight!
You are still pretty content most of the time. On occasion though, you will throw a huge fit that I can't help but smile about. Your sad face is SO cute!
You got to help Mommy celebrate my 25th birthday this month! Although you came in June, you were still my greatest gift.
We get to spend a lot of days with Granny, and you LOVE hanging out with her. She's even the one who made you laugh for the very first time by smelling your stinky feet!
Other things you have done this month:
Sit up unassisted (briefly, but long enough for it to count!)...
Smile at anyone nearby when you wake up from a nap...
Took a trip to the pumpkin patch for the first time...
Snuggle your "friends"...
Give lots of cuddles...
You found your tongue, and like to show it to everyone...
...And are starting to look mischievous when I am out of your sight for a minute or two...
And are starting to reach for my phone when I attempt to take quick pictures or videos. It's making this "documenting your life" thing a little more difficult.
As I'm writing this, you are playing on a blanket with some toys, and have managed to roll from back to belly to your back again! This is another first for you, and I'm so proud!
I'm not quite sure if we are out of the woods yet, but we definitely went through part (hopefully all) of your 4 month sleep regression last week. You were up more times in the night than we have ever had to get up with you for a week. You seem to have switched back to your old ways these past couple of nights, and for that we are thrilled.
You are so much fun, and are a for sure Momma's boy. I'm ok with the whole "Momma's boy" thing until you are older and find the wonderful woman we are praying you find. Then I'll be ok with not being your #1 lady. ;) You are already such a little flirt with the women, I'm afraid you might be quite a heartbreaker. Be nice to those girls.
We love you so incredibly much, and life with you just seems to be getting better as you grow. We love watching you grow, discover, learn, try, smile, laugh, and snuggle. You are the greatest thing that has ever come into our lives. We will always do everything we can to protect you, help you, and support you in every endeavor that you want to try. You will always be our priority, and everything else will just have to take a backseat. We prefer it that way. We hope that when you are grown, you will understand the love we have for you and pass that love on to your own children. Hopefully that won't come too quickly so we can still enjoy your sweet, toothless, smiley face a little while longer.
Love always,
Mommy
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Catch-Up Randoms
-It has been forever since I've blogged! I've had a lot to say, but unfortunately a lot of it can't be discussed via Internet. We are currently in a battle with my previous employer, and it is a very emotional and stressful time for us. It's unfortunate that a job I loved so much has resulted in so many stressors over the past year. This is taking up quite a bit of our time, and while I want to vent about it to you all SO much, it's just not in our best interest.
-A previous co-worker of Jason's passed away the other night of a massive heart attack. Please pray for their family. While we were extremely sad to hear the news, she leaves behind a husband, a daughter that is Jason's age and a grandson that is almost a year old. Please pray that her memory will live on so that her sweet grandson will experience a lifetime of memories that will allow the grandchild to feel that he knows her.
-I have my first cardiology appointment since Ethan's delivery in a few weeks. While we feel that the condition we experience during my pregnancy is completely under control, we are anxious and nervous to hear what the cardiologists have to say. I still experience palpitations and a heavy feeling on occasion, and we are hoping that is nothing more than just healing.
-Ethan is doing well, but thank goodness for Brittany. She was telling us the story of Ella's 4 month sleep regression, and sure enough, about a week later-BOOM. If it weren't for her, I would have no idea why Ethan was waking up COMPLETELY elated at 2:30 am every single morning. Last night was the worst. I'd be happy to let him play/coo as long as he wanted to since he isn't upset, but he is SO stinking loud it is ridiculous. This 4 month sleep regression is worse than his newborn sleep. Ethan has always been such a good sleeper until about a week ago. He was sleeping 10-12 hours a night way sooner than we ever expected, but it seems that it is long gone now. I'm hoping this is just a phase and his good sleep habits return quickly. Any suggestions?
-Speaking of good sleep habits, I hate that question. It seems like everyone we run into wants to ask us how well Ethan sleeps. I always feel like we are being asked as a gauge of how well we are parenting Ethan. I also hate it when parents make the condescending comment "Well, we didn't let our baby cry it out, so that's why s/he didn't sleep through the night until ___ months." Ugh. For the record, we do NOT let Ethan cry it out. It's just not something either of us agree with or are comfortable with.
-I've asked several people we know in real life, but now I'm going to ask you. Settle an argument between my husband and I. Who knows what taco night is?
-Ethan laughed for the very first time yesterday and we were lucky enough to be recording at the same time! I had made the comment just the day before about how he hadn't really laughed yet, and I was looking forward to it. His laughter has been one milestone that I really couldn't wait for, and it was the CUTEST thing. I'll try to post the video soon.
-I am LOVING Pinterest. Does anyone else feel more crafty and domestic after playing on Pinterest? I have so many projects I want to try. Then I think about how silly I will feel if someone recognizes that I found it on Pinterest and I'm not really as crafty as I'm trying to appear to be.
-I can't wait to show you all Ethan's Halloween costume! We decided to keep it very simple this year, but I think what we have chosen is adorable, and I can't wait for you all to see.
Happy Tuesday!
-Speaking of good sleep habits, I hate that question. It seems like everyone we run into wants to ask us how well Ethan sleeps. I always feel like we are being asked as a gauge of how well we are parenting Ethan. I also hate it when parents make the condescending comment "Well, we didn't let our baby cry it out, so that's why s/he didn't sleep through the night until ___ months." Ugh. For the record, we do NOT let Ethan cry it out. It's just not something either of us agree with or are comfortable with.
-I've asked several people we know in real life, but now I'm going to ask you. Settle an argument between my husband and I. Who knows what taco night is?
-Ethan laughed for the very first time yesterday and we were lucky enough to be recording at the same time! I had made the comment just the day before about how he hadn't really laughed yet, and I was looking forward to it. His laughter has been one milestone that I really couldn't wait for, and it was the CUTEST thing. I'll try to post the video soon.
-I am LOVING Pinterest. Does anyone else feel more crafty and domestic after playing on Pinterest? I have so many projects I want to try. Then I think about how silly I will feel if someone recognizes that I found it on Pinterest and I'm not really as crafty as I'm trying to appear to be.
-I can't wait to show you all Ethan's Halloween costume! We decided to keep it very simple this year, but I think what we have chosen is adorable, and I can't wait for you all to see.
Happy Tuesday!
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